Flyaway Kite

the whirled is spinning around us

Funerals
set sail through colors and pearls
jesusphreaq
I just tweezed my eyebrows more than I ever have in my life. Sure, I wax my unibrow when it gets unruly, but this was the first time I ever tried to shape my hairs rather than pull out detractors. I guess I'm trying to decide if it'll be better for photos—THAT REMINDS ME. There, now I have also put in white strips. The really expensive best Crest ones were on super sale at Shoppers, so I will hopefully have a bright smile to be in Twyla's wedding photos. :D Oh, but as I was saying—the verdict is, I like my face better with more eyebrow hairs. It looks weird without 0_0 I guess we just get used to ourselves one way, you know? Besides, tweezing is painful and barbaric.

But right, funerals. That's what I came here to post about. I've been thinking about it because this guy at Michaels was buying chocolate for a fondue. I changed his mind on the kind, though, because I said I liked light rather than dark chocolate, so he took that instead, and then he asked if the Lindt chocolates were good. I said they were delicious, but expensive, and he grabbed a big pile of them—at sixty-nine cents plus tax apiece, it didn't take long to get to the seventeen dollars' worth he bought!—and said, "Well, you can't take it with you."

He offered me five chocolates. I took one, and wondered what he was dying of, if not just time like most of us. The chocolate melted in my pocket and came out of the wrapper sticky, and its sweetness tasted tainted with mortality.

And then on Monday I heard on the radio that funerals can be the third biggest expense of your life, after your house and your car! And I thought, That's ridiculous, and more vehemently, Not for me. After I saw my uncle's casket, a beautiful piece of craftsmanship, I told my parents that when I died I wanted to be buried in the plainest possible box.

Of course they had the same reaction everyone else here all did: perish the thought!

I suppose I'm young and foolish, when these things don't touch me. When I never really worry about my health and can speak of my own death like that. When heaven seems like the place between closed eyes and darkness, close enough.

I don't know.

Childish or childlike as it may be, I don't want to change. I like being able to feel this way. To want to be buried in the plainest box with the fewest flowers and smallest expense. I can't see any point at all to beautiful caskets.

Then again, in a way, that's what my body is.

Sure, I take care of it, I even love it, but it's a vehicle, right? For the soul. The body isn't what you mourn when someone dies. People aren't bodies. I wouldn't be here anymore. I'd be... well. Come quickly, Lord Jesus. I'm looking forward to the Kingdom of God.

So yeah. That's what I came here to say. If I die, my parents better bury me in a cheap box. Otherwise I'd be miffed.

Also I want "Blessed be Your Name" to be sung. Is someone taking notes? :)

Question of the Day
set sail through colors and pearls
jesusphreaq
If I had a will... what would you want? :)

Ahhh... spring cleaning.
set sail through colors and pearls
jesusphreaq
Even though it hasn't been that hot yet, it's definitely spring! I'm enjoying all the showers. We've had probably four inches of rain over the last couple of weeks, which is lovely, although tomorrow it might turn into snow.

I did a big room-clean tonight, even the closet! I made a lot of space more usable. I unpacked my summer clothes and put most of the winter clothes in big boxes above my bookcase. My closet and armoire shut quite easily now :D It's pretty exciting! I also reorganized my bookcase a couple of weeks ago in anticipation of Erin visiting (which hasn't happened yet... a grave oversight) so it looks very tidy. A lot of my favorite books are still out with Melanie, but my shelves look so full... Anyways Erin, you'll have to come over soon so I can lend you my books! I have only read one of yours so far though... :\ And maybe we'll even make bookplates! That could be a lot of fun :) And I promise there will be tea.

This week is already booked full of friends :) It seems to happen pretty quickly! It seems there's never enough time to visit with all the people I'd like to. I'm also planning on pursuing freelance editing, but I'm going to do that after Twyla's wedding. I'm enjoying helping out with designing programs and hopefully soon we'll nail down some shower plans... lots to do on that front. :)

Anyways, I felt like I should say more! But the real reason I'm posting is girls only...Collapse )

I hope everyone's having a super spring so far. If you wanna hang out, call me!! :D Also, Philip and I are deep into season 2 of Dollhouse and it is back-to-back AWESOME. I'm thinking we should Dollhouse-athon it up.

from the planet of books
the world is a book
jesusphreaq
Do you ever feel there is some other way, long ago or somewhere else? Why do certain pieces of music move us so, all of us? Certain colors? As if these were stones from an earlier city, passed hand to hand across the generations so now they're polished and rounded as river stones and yet have lost none of their weight. I feel we're all trying to find a story, like treasure buried beneath our city, and all the feeble stories we live are patterned after that pristine story whose shape we almost know. Sometimes just after I wake I'll think, This is the story, I'm living the story. But the world always rushes in with its clash and anguish.
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The New Covenant in My Blood
sheepy sheeps
jesusphreaq
People keep saying "Happy Easter," but I feel like my Easter already happened. It was when I went to Passover at Philip's church. There were sixty of us around an arrangement of tables, and Philip's dad led us through a Messianic version of the traditional Jewish ritual of it. Remembering how the Israelites were saved from the bondage of Egypt is a metaphor for the way Christ saves us, after all; we each have our own personal slavery to leave, our own selfish desires that ensnare us. We broke unleavened bread together and drank the cup in remembrance of Him.

Easter is a time to die to our sin, with the help of God, and to rise above it. To be resurrected, a new creation. I feel this very strongly this year.

This year, too, is interesting because the holidays fall in the same weekday order as they did back then. No one at Passover mentioned it, but as far as I understand it, how we celebrated the holidays this year is the same as it was celebrated then:
Tuesday, Passover: Christ and his disciples eat the seder meal. "I have earnestly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer; for I say to you, I shall never again eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God." That night He prays in agony, in the garden of Gethsemane.
Wednesday: Christ captured in the early morning, brought before the courts. Like a lamb led to slaughter, He says nothing to all the false charges, but goes willingly to His crucifixion. Before sundown Wednesday, He dies and is buried—everything, everything according to prophecy.
Thursday: This is the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, a high Sabbath, which is why people hurriedly buried Christ on Wednesday—to do it on Thursday would be work on a Sabbath.
Friday, Saturday: The disciples go home in mourning. The Messiah is dead. What have they been doing these last three years of their lives? What are they supposed to believe?
Sunday: The resurrection, three nights and three days after his death, just as He said (Mt 12:40). I once heard it preached that the reason He took three days was that the Jews believed that after that length of time, soul and body were totally severed and it was impossible to return. Another proof of his divinity.

So this week I've been thinking about what each day meant to the disciples and to Christ, and trying to understand in my own spirit what it means to follow Him—into death, the death of myself, the selfishness, the sin that so easily entangles—and, breaking the surface of that baptismal death, into Life, and Life to the full.

I hope everyone will have a wonderful Easter Sunday, as the Church celebrates its only and greatest hope—that Christ has come, Christ has died, and Christ will come again. Hallelujah.

I'm a rainbow today / All the colors of the world are in me.
set sail through colors and pearls
jesusphreaq
I'm sick today. My nose is trying for a new record of runniness. :(

However, I got things done!

I put all the cards, postcards, and letters I've received since about June into a binder of page protectors. It looks great and nicely organized. Now what I need to start doing is photocopying my own letters to fill in the gaps, so I know what I've said and haven't said to people. :) I haven't kept any records of my own letters... but that will change! I guess where I work we document and organized and store away practically everything, so I feel like I should be keeping closer records in my own life...

It was a great week, visiting-wise. I hung out with people every night of the week. (I am so lucky to have such free access to my parents' car. xD) I think Philip and I had study-dates on Monday and Wednesday, and I had a "belated birthday coffee" with Audrey on Tues, a great night with Jess on Thurs, and I got to have coffee with Laura on Friday, who I like more and more. She has a great smile :) We talked for hours. I'm looking forward to getting to know her better, not just as "Timothy's fiancee" but as a really nice person! And Timothy showed up later and all of us hung out till late. It's been great to keep up with people. :) I want to continue meeting with different people. Janel, Jordan, are you up for coffee any dates this week? (I keep saying coffee, but I never—oh that's not true, I did have an ice cap with Laura, but mostly I don't even drink coffee.) And Megan and Kate, how can we swing some skype time? And hopefully when James comes back on Tuesday I can hang out with him too. And Shane and Mattea, even if Philip has too much to do this week to have our customary Tales night, the three of us should definitely hang out anyway! :D And if I've missed anyone, you should drop me an email too!

And besides doing all these things, I'm also realizing that there are a lot of projects in my life that I'd like to do. For instance, I just bought a new Bible (Life Application NASB!!) to cut into more manageable chunks so I can carry it places. I also have two boxes to recover for my wedding, and a duvet cover that just NEVER GETS SEWN. So I think that I'm going to make Sunday night PROJECTS NIGHT. If anyone else feels that way—so many projects, so little time!—you should call me, and we'll hang out and do our projects together.

I'm going to vacuum my room before I go to bed. Yes, being sick does not mean you can't be productive!

For me, 2009 was the year of the fox.
set sail through colors and pearls
jesusphreaq
I'm writing it here so I don't forget.

I haven't seen any foxes yet this year.

I mean yeah, there aren't as many late nights, so the math checks out. I'm not as often driving home at all hours from all kinds of escapades. Stands to reason.

But that's not why.

I think it's because I don't need to anymore.

It's like growing up. It is growing up. Especially the part where you feel like it can't possibly get any better and you desperately want to stay where you are, but you have to move on and it does get better.

Different but better.

Thank you, Lord, for the foxes, with progressively bushier tails, that gave me hope for the better.

So I'm looking out the window
And I'm drifting off to sleep
With my face pressed up
Against the pane
With the rhythm of my heart
And my sleepy girl's breathing
With the rhythm
Of the southbound train

You're my horizon / You're the light of a new dawn
there's nothing for me to be scared of
jesusphreaq
~Happy Valentine's Day~

Philip and I are off skiing in Banff for the next few days! Lake Louise, Sunshine, then Louise again! Seeyas! :D

this winter.
set sail through colors and pearls
jesusphreaq
So far I have worked a week and a half at my new job! Time to tell everyone about it :D But before I tell you about that, I have something to get off my chest...

A Review of the Saskatoon Transit System

To get to my job that starts at 8:30, I have to get on a bus at 7:15 and arrive at work at 8:10. I decided I was okay with that. What I was not okay with was the fact all the buses arrive and depart the downtown terminal in a matter of one or two minutes. This means that my connection had to be made immediately—that is, at the moment my bus arrived downtown, I'd have to absolutely book it to my other bus or it would leave without me. Um, how usable is that, for older people or parents with small children? I have no idea how they would make their connections.

So on Friday when my 11 bus was arriving late to the terminal, I asked the driver if the 3 would wait for me. His response was to let me off a block early so I'd be closer to it. The 3 drove away as soon as I began to cross the street. I ran after the bus, waving frantically, for two blocks until it disappeared around a corner.

All the 11 would have had to do was click the radio and tell the 3 to wait.

It says right on the Saskatoon bus signs, "If you miss your bus, don't chase after it. Another one will be along shortly." Whoever wrote that "half an hour later" was "shortly" has never waited for the bus, and especially not in minus thirty weather.

And they wonder why no one uses the bus system.

/rant

Luckily I didn't buy a bus pass. My dad's driven me a few times, but the AWESOME AND WONDERFUL thing is that one of my coworkers lives a few blocks away, and she offered to drive me! I'm right on her way, too—all she has to do is turn into and out of my crescent. She said, "I'm going that way anyway," and said I should only pay her $20. But considering I was going to pay $71 per month for a bus pass and she'll be providing a far, far better service, I will definitely pay her more than $20. So far I'm keeping track of how many rides she's given me and I'll figure it out at the end of the month.

By the way, my coworkers are all super nice! So that's a definite plus!

So! About the job. I'm extremely thankful for it because it's the only job that even contacted me out of like 20 that I applied for. That means I wrote 20 cover letters and sometimes even changed my resume to suit what I was applying for. And no one even contacted me! ;_; So seeing how hard it is to get jobs, I'm soooooo super happy that I managed to find full-time work during daytime hours (8:30-5 with unpaid 1/2 hr lunch break).

For the first two days I fixed their website. My predecessor pretended he was a web designer, but his understanding of Dreamweaver and of Windows computers was obviously rudimentary at best. I had to rebuild the same thing nearly from scratch, so it took a long time and looked like I'd barely done any work O_O Luckily my boss apparently already had her doubts of this previous employee and believed me when I said it had been a lot of work fixing his mistakes.

Since then I've been filing. I'm very happy that they've gone paperless since January, but there's a lot of filing left over from months before that. I'm helping them catch up. I've been promised that it only gets harder from there. But with harder (I'm hoping) also comes more fulfilling. Apparently I'll be doing all kinds of odd jobs, each of them complicated and with exceptions to every rule, so there will be a big learning curve.

How do I feel about my job? Like I said, I'm very happy to have a job. I still work on Sundays at Michaels, so altogether I feel like I'm making a lot of money. And honestly, that's kind of a big thing in my life right now. I'm trying to save up for my own wedding and somewhere for Philip and I to live when we marry and move out in a year and a half. :D I'm happy being able to complete this big practical step toward making that happen. But at the same time that I'm overjoyed to be fulfilling these goals, I worry a little about the longer-term goal of my career. After all, being a jack-of-all-trades receptionist isn't really what I set out to do when I got my master's degree. Of course, part of the reason I got the degree was because I wasn't ready to take any steps forward at all :\

But that's okay. My God has always been my abundant Provider. I am in His hand, and I don't fear the future.

I hope everyone else is having a good winter, even though it's so cold! I'm hoping the weather will be nice in Banff this weekend. I'm looking forward to a ski trip this weekend with my dad and most of the Siemens family, at Lake Louise and Sunshine. I'm sure it will be a delightful break :D Cheers, everyone!
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good days
set sail through colors and pearls
jesusphreaq
The radio said today that it has snowed ten inches. Thank goodness I haven't had to be anywhere for the last couple of days! O_O Apparently my little crescent is almost impossible to get into or out of. Too bad I have to work at Michaels tomorrow night... However, the parents are pretty much insisting on driving me around.

I have no fewer than six letters sitting on my desk, waiting to be mailed tomorrow. This is what happens when I can't get out of the house to mail things! Three of them already have postage on. The ones leaving the country and the one that might be too thick... I will ask the Shopper's Drug Mart postal employee and pay there.

Today I spent time reading The Adventures of Dr. McNinja. I can't help but love the comic because it just reminds me so much of my own comic days. The absurd humor is the same flavor. Our old nemesis Ronald McDonald actually shows up as a villain.

Oh, and by the way, I have a job now.

Yeah, I'm pretty excited but also nervous! I went to the interview and was hired on Friday. It's a pretty funny story how it all happened, but I don't feel like telling it here right now. Anyways, I'm a receptionist! Although it turns out there's certainly a lot more to this job than answering the phone. The point is, it's FULL-TIME, and no one else I sent a resume to even answered, and I was about to start applying to restaurants. D: SO I am very, very, very happy and definitely praising God! This is provision I am very thankful for :D

In other news, I'm not feeling the new library system, for a few reasons. First, I don't like the increase in late fees of ten cents a day. I had a bunch of wedding books out and suddenly I already owed ten dollars. Whaaaaat. I know, my bad, but it would have been like seven dollars before. :( Secondly, they made me change my card. JUST when I'd finally memorized my new card number. Losing my library card was always a pain for that, but now they're making me change the number for no reason, and the new number is much longer and harder! I'll never memorize it, I guarantee. Plus she wouldn't even let me look at a few to see if there were any easy ones. The librarian I talked to was a meanie :( AND THIRDLY, the new online search is CRAP. I can type in the exact title of a book, but if it's made of common words and not unique, it shows tons of other search results before ever coming to the exact title I typed in. It's so freaking maddening.

Uhh... I guess this post shows I was in more of a ranty mood than a tell-a-good-story mood.

Oh, but I do have some good news actually! Girls only, you know the drill...Collapse )

Lastly, today I changed the water and cleaned out Shelley's bamboo plant, which she left with me. I also gave it a big spray-down with house-plant pesticide, because it's infected with springtails. Apparently these tiny tiny bugs feed on decay and don't harm plants at all, and are only a pest because people don't like to see bugs in their plants. Anyways, they say I'm supposed to water it less, so I'm going to try that out, and also maybe put it in a sunnier place?

On the other hand, the place it's in will probably get enough sun from now on if I open my blinds earlier, which is easy because my new wake-up time is EARLY. I forgot to mention it earlier, but my job is from 8:30-5 (best hours ever), meaning I'm catching the 7:15 bus. Ouch! I don't even mind buses actually, that'll give me time to read my Bible in the morning and novels in the afternoon, but that first snap to grown-up time is gonna hurt!

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